tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36830741170801528332024-03-14T15:38:38.196+00:00Rector's Wife RevampCassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.comBlogger263125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-22180458943495506112016-11-13T19:16:00.000+00:002016-11-13T19:17:38.977+00:00Getting something rightI don't write on this blog all that often these days. I'm thrilled to have reached an appropriate weight for my height and build after years of struggle (currently 143 lb - 10 stone 3) and am working hard now on the fitness, nutrition and maintenance aspects.<br />
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However, I wanted to flag up a recent milestone and hope it's helpful and useful to others.<br />
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I have just returned from a wonderful health & fitness weekend with the splendid <a href="http://www.mothernaturesdiet.com/" target="_blank">Mother Nature's Diet</a> community. We had the opportunity to use one of those full-body-analysis scales. The last time I used one of those was on my first day at the Obsidian health resort (sadly this has since gone out of business), where my journey back to health began.<br />
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I looked out the printout from the start of my stay at Obsidian, 4 June 2014. The measurements aren't quite as detailed as the present set (taken 6 November 2016), but they are still telling.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Body fat</b> was 42.8% - now 32.4%</li>
<li><b>Visceral fat</b> was 10 - now 6.5</li>
<li><b>BMI </b>was 30.1 - now 24.2</li>
<li><b>Metabolic age</b> was 66 (I was 51) - now 45 (I'm nearly 54)! So I've gone from being 15 years older than my real age to almost 9 years younger.</li>
</ul>
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Yes, I'm very proud of all that I've achieved. However, I would never have managed it without the generous support and encouragement of countless professionals, friends and family, who have been there for me throughout, and in many cases continue to be so. Here are a few of the professionals:<br />
<br />
My counsellor at Obsidian who helped me to deal with the demons that had been holding me back for many years, and in effect opened the door: <b>Marco Silva of <a href="http://www.factorvida.es/" target="_blank">Factor Vida</a></b>.<br />
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The friend and professional colleague who introduced me to Obsidian and encouraged me to take that first step: <a href="http://www.debihaden.co.uk/" target="_blank"><b>Debi Haden</b></a>.<br />
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Most recently, and making a huge impact on my life: the magnificent <b>Karl Whitfield of <a href="http://www.mothernaturesdiet.com/" target="_blank">Mother Nature's Diet</a></b>, and all the fabulous people who are members of that community.<br />
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It can be done. Look around for the help and then accept it. Find your 'tribe'. Listen. Keep an open mind. Share. Contribute. This is, as another inspiring lady (the wonderful <a href="http://www.lifelonglearningcompany.com/" target="_blank">Kath Temple</a>) puts it, "one wild and precious life".<br />
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Yes, I'm delighted that I look better now. But of far more importance is the health: the reduced risk of heart disease and various cancers, stacking the deck in my favour to achieve quality of life, however long it may be.Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-68839703059620387102015-06-04T23:59:00.000+01:002015-06-05T00:01:27.977+01:00One year onApologies if this is just too smug... but I seriously need reminding sometimes of what the achievements are.<br />
<br />
One year ago today, I had my first weight-in, measure-in, counselling session and juices at Obsidian.<br />
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With huge help and support from family and friends, and inspiration from other health and fitness experts, I've done what I set out to do. I've achieved a healthy BMI; I'm sub-ten-stone-seven for the first time in eight years; I'm a comfortable size 14 (sometimes nearer a 12, depending on the make); and <i>bien dans ma peau</i> in a way that I'd forgotten was possible.<br />
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My very heaviest weight was in fact two pounds higher than shown above, shortly before my visit to Spain, so:</div>
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<ul>
<li>Weight dropped from 13-1 to 10-6.</li>
<li>BMI has gone from just over 30 to just over 24.</li>
<li>Waist measurement was 37.5", now 33.5".</li>
<li>Widest part measurement was 45", now 40".</li>
<li>Bust was (probably - I don't have a record) about 43", now 39".</li>
</ul>
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My perception of what is 'normal' has changed for good.Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-40083593702950820512015-05-02T22:01:00.000+01:002015-05-02T22:06:49.116+01:00More learning: thinking outside the (vegetable) box<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://assets.riverford.co.uk/press/Riverford_mini_vegbox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://assets.riverford.co.uk/press/Riverford_mini_vegbox.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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I think I'm generally a reasonable cook. I don't go much for pastries and cakes anyway (mercifully), and the traditional feasts are not really my style; but I do enjoy simple, speedy, practical dishes with a lot of flavour. Generally if something takes less than 30 minutes (preferably 20) to cook, and has less than a dozen ingredients, I'm up for it.<br />
<br />
Since moving towards a regular diet (as opposed to A Diet) that has more vegetables (but isn't vegetarian), less carbohydrate (but still some), minimal alcohol (but includes the occasional glass), I've been encouraged to try out more recipes outside my comfort zone. In the ten months since my visit to <a href="http://www.obsidianwellness.com/" target="_blank">Obsidian</a>, I've used an increasing number of veggie recipes and latterly of organic produce.<br />
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A new and excellent discovery is the lovely, organic food, <a href="http://www.riverford.co.uk/" target="_blank">Riverford service</a>. I've been delighted with my free Riverford Farm Cook Book, and with the matching iPhone app which includes a useful recipe section (choose your combination of veg and it will display recipes in which to use them).<br />
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I've also realised that playing a particular mindgame with myself is proving rather helpful. As I put it on Twitter the other day:<br />
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<i>Hate waste. Get @Riverford veg box weekly. Use veg up by next box = Learn new veg recipes = Increase veg intake. #result #mindgames</i><br />
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You know, it's been working rather well. My determination not to waste any of the delightful surprises - some of which are unfamiliar to me, some I just haven't used (e.g. cauliflower) for ages - has propelled me into trying several recipes, all of which have been pretty successful (also with my long-suffering husband, who mercifully is happy to try my experiments).<br />
<br />
So far there's been<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Penne with Cauliflower, Garlic & Anchovies (really tasty)</li>
<li>Butternut Squash & Aubergine risotto (lovely, and even better when reheated the following day)</li>
<li>Roasted carrot soup with rosemary & smoky paprika (set to become a favourite)</li>
<li>Cauliflower, Carrot & Parsnip Korma (lovely but slightly bland for our taste, so I added some curry powder)</li>
<li>Swiss Chard stir fried with lemon juice, mushrooms & olive oil (excellent accompaniment to a chicken & tomato dish)</li>
</ul>
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More importantly, this process is helping me to think outside my previous boxes. It's a continuing process of learning. There are so many fabulous foods available - as well as possibilities for exercise, self-development, learning opportunities and all the rest - that I'm starting to see this wonderful bounty of products as a metaphor for other areas of my life. For example:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>the new area that we're living in (a beach village on the beautiful east Norfolk coast) and the coastal walks that mean so much to me</li>
<li>my precious mentoring from the lovely <a href="http://clearsimple.com/" target="_blank">Marla Dee</a>, including a frankly challenging but ultimately rewarding regular writing task, which is giving me much food for thought</li>
<li>the fabulous inspiration and ideas from Karl Whitfield (aka Tigger, aka Karlmeister) at <a href="http://mothernaturesdiet.me/" target="_blank">Mother Nature's Diet</a>, whose Norwich seminar later this month I greatly look forward to</li>
</ul>
<br />
- and much more.<br />
<br />
At 52 years old, I have (please God) still so much more to learn. The colours in my weekly vegetable box delight me, and so do the opportunities that still await.Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-10420675960228197092015-03-25T10:21:00.001+00:002015-03-25T10:21:25.311+00:00Another look backThe scariest photos I've ever had taken were in March 2014 at a Conference that I attend annually - for <a href="http://www.apdo-uk.co.uk/" target="_blank">apdo-uk</a> (the Association of Professional Declutterers & Organisers). Yes, there really is such a thing. As a past President, founder member and, until recently, member of the Operations Team, I usually have some reason to stand on stage in front of my colleagues, and of course, there's no hiding from cameras.<br />
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This year I attended as usual, and for once I didn't have to be afraid of the camera. The lovely Alessandra took a long-overdue new mugshot for me to use on my business website, and I couldn't resist using it to create another 'before-and-after' collage:<br />
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I am so thankful to have found another way.Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-55009120810588040092015-02-28T11:36:00.001+00:002015-02-28T11:36:42.554+00:00What's another year?There are a couple of bits of software that appeal to my geek-who-curates tendencies. They look back at your postings in linked social media accounts, and remind you of what was going on <i>x </i>years ago. <a href="http://www.momentoapp.com/" target="_blank">Momento</a> is one; <a href="http://timehop.com/" target="_blank">Timehop</a> is the other.<br />
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There are also my own records. It won't surprise anyone who knows me to hear that I have a complete spreadsheet of weight and fitness records, going back nearly twenty years, to 1996. How sad is that?<br />
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19 February, 2014. A very brief posting to Facebook reads thus:<br />
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"Shit. Officially medically obese. Not good. #cupcakesorvalium"<br />
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This was the day that I recorded a weight of thirteen-stone-one-pound. At 5'5" tall, this pushed me into the 'obese' category when looking at BMI charts. Yes, I know that these don't take build into account (or, in my case, large mammaries); but as a rule, they're a pretty good indication.<br />
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My beloved friends were encouraging, practical, sympathetic and supportive by turns, and temporarily I felt a bit better. Why on earth I didn't take that as my wake-up call right then, I have no idea; the journey didn't start until my visit to <a href="http://www.obsidianwellness.com/" target="_blank">Obsidian</a>, nearly four months later.<br />
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Having achieved the sub-eleven-stone marker around about the time that we moved house (October 2014), I was simply very happy to have maintained that sort of weight through the move, Christmas, New Year, a holiday, my birthday, and lots more life.<br />
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However, having got the festive season out of the way, I've very gently refocused with a view to getting down to my target of ten-stone-seven. I've increased my walks-to-the-beach frequency, taken the alcohol down to one or two glasses a week, upped the vegetables, increased the breakfast juices / smoothies, and decreased the carbohydrate. I've continued to take inspiration and practical assistance from my experiences at Obsidian, and also from the superb Karl at <a href="http://mothernaturesdiet.me/" target="_blank">Mother Nature's Diet</a>; and to benefit from the support and encouragement of countless friends.<br />
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So on 19 February 2015, I'm logging a weight of ten-stone-nine. That's thirty-four pounds down from my heaviest weight, thirty-two from the start of my Obsidian visit. I've spent a bit of time this morning kicking out the last of my size sixteens, as well as a few more fit-but-don't-flatter items.<br />
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I need to remind myself from time to time of how far I've come. Just as it's virtually impossible to imagine being too cold when you're too hot, and vice versa, it's extraordinary how soon we forget the pain of being uncomfortable in our own skin.<br />
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The photographs below aren't quite representative of those dates; the one in the green dress (heaven knows how it survived the cull) was taken in August 2013 (so, scarily, not quite at my heaviest), and the 'after' photo was New Year 2014. I intend to get my husband to photograph me on 4 March, which will be nine months since my first Obsidian photo, to celebrate the actual milestones. But this will do for now.<br />
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It's not been a diet that I've now finished. It's been a lifestyle change that I still continue, because what is 'normal' is now different. </div>
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That's why I have no fear of throwing out the size sixteens.</div>
Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-40247330937522017502014-09-04T11:36:00.000+01:002014-09-04T11:54:59.386+01:00Three months onIn the last three months, I have:<br />
<ul>
<li>walked an average of just over 100K each month (4-5K most mornings)</li>
<li>turned my eating plan upside down (have gone right off processed meat, eat virtually no red meat, poultry weekly, fish twice weekly, veggie the rest)</li>
<li>removed caffeine completely - now on all herbal, fruit and redbush teas</li>
<li>removed most dairy - now using soya milk and yogurt, and goat or feta cheese</li>
<li>removed most gluten - eating very little bread, and using GF muesli, GF pasta</li>
<li>juice for breakfast from Obsidian recipes most mornings - muesli and fruit if I'm in a real hurry</li>
</ul>
And these are the results. (Click on the photo for a closer look.)<br />
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(Same t-shirt but baggier! Jeans instead of the sloppy joe trousers, because they look better.)<br />
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I've lost 21 pounds. Still only about an inch from the waist, but three from the hips, and probably about two or three from the bust (that measurement wasn't taken in June, but I can guess from the clothes). I'm now fitting comfortably into size 14 rather than a tight 16 (although different stores have different ideas, of course) and have reclaimed a lot of my wardrobe.<br />
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I'm not quite done. My ideal weight, from a BMI point of view, at 5'5", is 10 stone 9. So that's where I aim to reach and settle.<br />
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My fabulous husband has been constantly supportive, eating the curious recipes I've dished up for him (actually, last night's quorn bolognese went down rather well), encouraging me with the exercise, helping me keep alcohol to a bare minimum. As a result, his own clothes are now fitting rather easier than they were too.<br />
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This is not (and really never has been) a 'diet'. It has been a genuine change to what I view as 'normal'. That's why the size 16s are not being kept 'just in case'.<br />
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I can never thank the good folks of <a href="http://obsidianretreat.com/" target="_blank">Obsidian</a> enough for setting me on a road that is - after 51 years - right for me.Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-62873259801264169702014-07-29T21:33:00.000+01:002014-07-29T21:33:06.864+01:00My Obsidian videoI was delighted to see the excellent job that Cris and his colleagues at Obsidian had done in compiling my case study video.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/y_XBzTbu-0o" width="420"></iframe><br />
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As you've seen, this was shot after 7 days at the resort. A day further on my total weight loss was 7lb. By 'concert day' I'd added a further 9lb loss to that total.<br />
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So, so happy and grateful.Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-21077197116136982872014-07-20T15:51:00.000+01:002014-07-20T15:51:06.215+01:00Determination helps me through... as one of my friends has pointed out, this was a line in a song that I sang in a concert last night (Noel Coward's <i>If Love Were All</i>, if you were wondering).<br />
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About ten days ago, I was a bit annoyed with myself for getting a target wrong. Let me explain...<br />
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When I left Obsidian on 13 June, having lost 7lb, I was 12 stone 6. I reckoned that getting to under 12 stone would be enough to allow me to fit into a particular concert dress on 19 July. I set this as an achievable target during a session led by the splendid Marco during my stay in Spain. In fact, I actually well achieved that (by last night's concert, I weighed in at 11-11 - making a 9lb weightloss in around five weeks).<br />
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With ten days to go, and weighing in at about 12-1, I extracted said dress - and wondered why it was still far too small. When I checked, I found that my recollection had been faulty: the last time I'd worn it was in May 2009 - when I'd not long been coping (badly) with my plantar fasciitis, hadn't yet put on too much weight, and was around 11-3. Disappointed, I reckoned I'd have to borrow a dress or (worse) buy another one, as a loss of some 12 pounds in ten days seemed unlikely (not to say unhealthy).<br />
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However, a further four pounds came off in that time, and perhaps the exercise and mostly vegetarian diet are changing my shape; because I triumphantly wore said dress, and was delighted that it looked good. I actually felt confident in a stage outfit for, I would say, the very first time in five years.<br />
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I had to publish a silly photo to share with my Obsidian friends on Facebook, so this was it. Caption really should be (if you know your James Cagney films): "I made it, Ma - top of the world!".<br />
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So, after a wonderful concert, many happy times and much encouragement, I will now pause and reflect, focus on my next goals, and keep doing what I'm doing. Because there is another way, and it's working.<br />
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<br />Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-34074265932950322452014-07-14T10:23:00.003+01:002014-07-14T10:23:55.312+01:00A milestone achievedAm I allowed to be just a little smug? This morning - six weeks tomorrow since I travelled to <a href="http://obsidianretreat.com/" target="_blank">Obsidian</a>, and 31 days since my return - I have (a) got below twelve stone for the first time since 2011, and (b) have therefore lost a stone since my first day at the resort. I have a further 18lb to go to reach a 'normal' BMI, so just under halfway through.<br />
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It's a bit disconcerting to realise that my weight today (167 pounds, or 11-13) was actually my HEAVIEST point on previous journeys in 2006 and 2007, but hey - that's the way too many cookies crumble.<br />
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However, here is one other interesting observation. During the last fifteen years, my blood pressure has constantly been a little on the high side. Not dramatically so: most of the readings were in the region of 118 to 130 for the systolic reading, and between 80 and 95 for the diastolic. That latter reading caused several medics to say "it's not quite high enough to use medication, but it's higher than I'd like it to be..."<br />
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On my first assessment at Obsidian, my reading was in that sort of range: 131/95. The day that I left, it was a highly satisfactory 114/76. Today it was *drum roll*... <b>102/77</b>.<br />
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Now, what's even more interesting is that this reading is way, way lower and healthier than it was when I was <i>much lighter than I am now</i>. Today I'm 167 pounds. In May 2008, I weighed in at 150 pounds - and my BP was my <i>highest </i>that I have ever<i> </i>recorded: 142/109. That's when I was just one pound heavier than my healthy BMI <i>target </i>today.<br />
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I can only judge that the removal of most sugar, alcohol and (probably) gluten from my diet, a 5K walk nearly every day, and around 75% vegetarian food, have been responsible for this change - which is, in fact, far more important than the fact that I am gradually reclaiming half my wardrobe.<br />
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It's all about so much more than the pounds.Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-51985713908241899572014-07-11T09:46:00.001+01:002014-07-11T09:46:58.274+01:00Reviewing ObsidianA quick update to share my review of my time at Obsidian. I love using social media to appreciate services, places, holidays or anything else that deserves a bouquet, and <a href="http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g672749-d2556020-r213953320-Obsidian_Retreat-Benissa_Costa_Blanca_Alicante_Province_Valencian_Country.html" target="_blank">my TripAdvisor review</a> will, I hope, encourage others to try 'the Obsidian way' for themselves.Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-83874875762926657542014-07-06T20:26:00.000+01:002014-07-06T20:26:07.329+01:00After Obsidian: three weeks onWe all know what new eating and fitness regimes are: difficult to keep up. The briefest of looks through this blog will demonstrate just how 'life happens' and our best intentions and desires are scuppered, whether by ourselves or by external events, whether reasons or excuses. In my case, it's been a bout of extremely painful plantar fasciitis lasting two years - 2008 to 2010 - and a severe ankle sprain in June 2013, just as I was at least getting myself back into a regular walking habit, which is still painful twelve months on.<br />
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After seeing (and more importantly, feeling) the extraordinary difference made by my <a href="http://obsidianretreat.com/" target="_blank">Obsidian </a>experience in just eight days, and having experienced the new possibilities afforded by increased vegetarian eating and the delights of juicing, I knew that I needed to make this as easy for myself as possible. So... what has changed?<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>I have kept up my near-as-dammit <b>5K walks</b> almost every day. OK, so a Norfolk countryside is a lot less tough than Spanish mountains, but it's still done. <a href="http://runkeeper.com/user/norfolkbroad/fitnessReports/walking/view" target="_blank">You can see the evidence on my Runkeeper account</a>. In the 23 days since my return, I have had just three days on which no walking has happened, and two others when I've walked less than 4.5K. That's included some rainy days, by the way.</li>
<li>I have <b>eliminated my Assam tea entirely</b>, and am perfectly happy with an assortment of Redbush, fruit and herb teas. The last time I had 'normal' tea was on the flight to Obsidian on 3 June.</li>
<li>I have not missed <b>dairy products</b>, and much to my surprise find a real liking for soya milk (which I have on occasional [gluten-free] muesli, and in one or two juices.</li>
<li>I have been cooking mostly <b>vegan </b>recipes from Obsidian, using chicken and fish on average once a week each.</li>
<li>I have drunk (and enjoyed) three glasses of (half diluted with water) white <b>wine </b>in the time since my return, and haven't missed it the rest of the time.</li>
<li>I have reduced my regular <b>carbohydrate </b>in evening meals by half (1 ounce instead of 2 of pasta or rice, 3 ounces instead of 6 of potatoes).</li>
<li>I bought a <b>juicer</b>, which arrived five days after my return. Since then, most of my breakfasts have been (post-walk) juices. If I'm in a real hurry, it's gluten-free muesli, fruit and soya yogurt, which I love.</li>
<li>I have started treatments with an excellent local sports masseur (<a href="http://www.jameswitham-therapies.co.uk/" target="_blank">James Witham</a>) to try to deal with my continually problematic right ankle. This was inspired by my session with the wonderful Gilly at Obsidian.</li>
</ul>
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Now, for the first ten days after my return, having implemented all the above, I was getting a bit piqued that my 12-6 weight (down from 12-13) hadn't moved an ounce. Very irritating! However, I persevered; and suddenly the downward journey began again. Today, 23 days after my return, I've shed a total of a further 5 pounds; this morning I weighed in at 12 stone 1 pound - <b>a total weight loss of 12 pounds</b>.</div>
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I have reclaimed a skirt, a top, a jacket and some t-shirts from the 'keep-and-hope' section of the wardrobe. I don't have to change out of jeans and into baggy trousers in order to sit down and be comfortable; the jeans are OK to sit in. I seem to have left at least one chin behind at Obsidian. My wedding and engagement rings, while still not removable (not that I want to, you understand) can now be moved on my finger rather than cutting off circulation (I was truly afraid that they would have to be cut off and resized). </div>
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My next target is to get down below 12 stone, and to fit into a concert dress for<a href="http://vocalscore.org.uk/concerts/2014-07.htm" target="_blank"> a performance I'm directing and taking part in on 19th July</a>, and I'm on course to do that.</div>
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I will add more reflections on this journey - especially the 'learning' and 'moderation' aspects, which are what has made it so achievable for me - very soon. In the meantime, the photo below was taken (outside a wonderful vegetarian restaurant in Norwich, in fact) after I'd had a new haircut and highlights - and my nails painted! - wearing one of those 'rescued' jackets, and feeling SO MUCH BETTER.</div>
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Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-47063238040119470402014-06-14T19:00:00.000+01:002014-07-11T09:51:20.077+01:00There is another way: the Obsidian experienceSo... Obsidian. I have been back from my trip to Southern Spain for a little over three weeks, and life has been as manic as ever; but I wanted to report back on the experience, and my continuing progress - so here I am. [I'm dating this entry shortly after my return, although it's being written in retrospect!]<br />
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[<i>The above is my first Obsidian sunset. <a href="https://plus.google.com/photos/108076056891495494065/albums/6029954494410941521" target="_blank">You can see my photo album of the whole stay by clicking here</a></i>.]<br />
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I was introduced to the <a href="http://obsidianretreat.com/" target="_blank">Obsidian Retreat</a> by a local friend and business networking contact, Debi. She has achieved some inspiring weight loss herself in the last few months, as has her husband, and this was inspired and kick-started by her initial visit to the retreat. She has since become their General Manager - commuting every couple of weeks between Norfolk and Spain - and is working to raise the profile of this excellent place. She spread the word around those friends and colleagues that she knew were keen to review their health and fitness, and that included me.<br />
<br />
So on 3 June, I set out for Spain via Stansted Airport. I arrived late that evening, and spent the next eight full days - leaving at lunchtime on Thursday 12 June - taking advantage of many of the opportunities afforded by my stay. This included:<br />
<ul>
<li>superb <b>vegan food</b>, delicious imaginative <b>salads </b>and amazing <b>juices </b>- all of which, as a lifelong meat-and-dairy girl, I found surprisingly easy to adapt to</li>
<li>a <b>5K walk every morning</b> (tougher in the Spanish hills than at home in Norfolk!)</li>
<li>various <b>exercise classes</b>, from yoga to rebounding (mini trampoline), stretch & tone and Zumba, as well as higher-impact workouts that are less my personal style but clearly worked very well for other guests</li>
<li>use of the little <b>gymnasium </b>and the <b>swimming pool </b>at any time of the day or night</li>
<li>a thorough <b>medical assessment</b> and in-depth interview at the start and end of my stay, with weights and measures of all kinds allowing me to monitor progress</li>
<li>cookery and juicing <b>demonstrations</b></li>
<li><b>talks </b>relating to health, motivation, inspiration, future planning</li>
<li>two visits to <b>local seaside resorts</b> for a change of scene and keeping in touch with real life!</li>
<li><b>support and encouragement</b> from all staff, including the nurse, yoga teacher, several fitness coaches, life coach mentor - and all the other guests during my stay</li>
</ul>
What about the food? Well, this is intended as a detox (although it's up to you to what extent you do this). My toughest challenge was doing without my 4-5 mugs each day of strong Assam tea. I spent the first three days in a bit of a confused fog - with attendant headache - from caffeine deprivation. However, I soon became accustomed to fruit, herbal and Redbush tea, taken without milk.<br />
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<div>
The juicing is a revelation. Imaginative combinations of vegetables and fruit made into effectively giant shakes (although there's no milk in there!) in a pretty large glass; always served for breakfast, and guests choose a juice or salad for lunch, and juice or vegan evening meal. For days 1-3 I had two juices and one meal each day; days 4-6 were spent entirely juicing; days 7-9 one juice and two meals. I was seldom hungry, took around an hour to drink each juice, drank loads of water, and after the initial three days felt genuinely much, much better in myself.</div>
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Now, I could have done a lot more exercise than I actually did; but what I did worked well for me. My own personal fitness investment went something like this:</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>5K walk every morning (except the first one)</li>
<li>several yoga classes</li>
<li>one stretch & tone</li>
<li>three rebounding classes</li>
<li>one Zumba class</li>
<li>two swims</li>
<li>one gym session</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
I also spent a fair bit of time sleeping; talking to staff and other guests; a few treatments (facial, manicure, sports massage); a counselling session; and several talks and workshops. As I observed to a friend, the lack of 'normal' daily responsibilities is extraordinarily liberating: no cooking or housework, emails (unless you want to!) or work, means that 24 hours in each day is yours to use as you wish. If you sleep for 8 hours each night, that still leaves SIXTEEN HOURS for the other activities.</div>
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I was inspired and encouraged, as I've said, by so many people. Each day new people came and went, with different aims and lives and situations, and I never failed to be impressed by their willingness to try all that the resort had to offer. </div>
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On my final day, I was delighted to find that I had - in the course of eight days - lost seven pounds, leaving behind the scarily imminent 'medically obese' definition (5'5" tall and 12 stone 13 pounds) and reaching 12 stone 6 pounds. Better still, my BP was lower than I believe it has ever been in my adult life: it went down from 131/95 to 114/76. I had lost an inch each from waist and hips. Best of all, I had found my enjoyment of the vegan, non-dairy, non-caffeine, non-alcohol regime had been far, far easier than I would ever have imagined, and the health benefits were very clear.</div>
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<a href="http://rectorswiferevamp.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/after-obsidian-three-weeks-on.html">Click here to find out what's happened since I came home!</a></div>
Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-16067870222493261822014-06-13T10:37:00.000+01:002014-07-06T19:48:06.712+01:00There is another wayI haven't written in this blog since 2011. Somehow I could never bring myself to delete it, as I subconsciously knew that the issue - that of maintaining a level of health that allowed me to live my life - wasn't going to go away. Meanwhile, my injuries caused more trouble and my weight topped out at just over thirteen stone - bringing me into the 'medically obese' category.<br />
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I will write a more detailed post as soon as I can (the backlog of emails and laundry after nine days' absence is rather scary) but in the meantime I just wanted to say:<br />
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THANK YOU, OBSIDIAN<br />
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In eight days, I have lost seven pounds (that's represented by the yellow stuff I'm holding in the photo). I went from 12-13 to 12-6.<br />
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Much more importantly, I have gained a huge amount of friendship, knowledge, support, ideas and inspiration from the superb staff, from coaches to cooks to cleaners.<br />
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Obsidian is a health resort near Benissa, an hour from Alicante, in southern Spain.The experience was extraordinary, relaxing, exhausting and rewarding in equal measure.<br />
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More soon, but as a taster, please <a href="http://obsidianretreat.com/" target="_blank">check out their website here</a>; and feel free to <a href="https://plus.google.com/u/0/photos/109369092273491183560/albums/6022116131349279873" target="_blank">view my photo album here</a>.<br />
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And expect to see me back on this blog much more frequently in coming weeks and months.<br />
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<a href="http://rectorswiferevamp.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/there-is-another-way-obsidian-experience.html">Next post: The Obsidian Experience</a>Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-63641218953049453632011-07-22T10:17:00.005+01:002011-07-22T10:42:38.461+01:00Hiding from y'all - and from myself<div>Thank you to Thirkellgirl for caring enough to ask how things are going. My prolonged absence gives you the answer: not well.</div><br /><div>My 'mindful eating', CBT approach worked beautifully for several months (not just a few days or weeks). I shed around ten pounds between August and Christmas of last year. It remained static for the next few months, and then it was Eastertide again.</div><div><br /></div><div>What is it about Easter? No, it's not the eggs, before you ask! Maybe it's the fact that the run-up to Holy Week, in a clerical household, is obviously frantic; perhaps it's the collapse-on-holiday that follows it each year; but it must be something more, as looking back over nearly three decades of struggle,<i> every single time</i> that things have gone horribly wrong once more, it's always been then. I have "got it sorted" with food, exercise, self-esteem and the rest; the effects have lasted anything from six months to two years; but the point of collapse has, somehow, always been that wretched moveable feast.</div><div><br /></div><div>This year, we completed directing a show (wonderful, successful, a joy to work on) at our local theatre, at the end of February - but I jumped straight into rehearsing (or nearly immediately) for another one. My business activities (happily) moved up a gear. I travelled around the country, for business and pleasure. I didn't make it to the gym once in literally months. Even my regular walks-around-the-village ceased. Busy, busy, busy; excuses, excuses, excuses.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tomorrow is the final performance of the present show (The Merry Wives of Windsor). I've been playing Mistress Page: lovely show, great part, excellent cast, huge fun. However, I have to 'fess up and say that it's been the worst time possible for self-image. </div><div><br /></div><div>Tudor costume is not kind to many of us (a bum roll? Somebody of my figure does NOT need extra girth added...); and, because one is limited to what is available in the company's wardrobe, I've ended up in a costume that I hate. The colour, the fit, are all totally wrong. The wardrobe ladies have done their best, but they are working with unpromising material. It doesn't help that I'm back to my largest size, my nearly-a-sixteen once more; but in this get-up I look more like a twenty. When I comment on Falstaff's size ("There's no woman's gown big enough for him", the audience invariably laughs, and I am quite certain it's because they are thinking "well, yours is"). To be fair to myself, the front of the dress sits at least a couple of inches proud of my body, which makes me look even more enormous.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am gritting my teeth and publishing a photograph here: it's about the worst image of myself ever, but it illustrates the problem. (I'm on the right, obviously: my fellow Wife, Chris, is a size-12 yoga teacher, so copes much better than I do with the fashions of the time.)</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIC0lrOpfAq-_58hN6FED5m80apZ5lXYG5z9OCkoJ2b-DCgooy5lXnxBjeAZP8iBw5UFt_0doBVhTGVJxwGMmC0-fyyCKWvP8sThsPwRyKgFo7RUauc5Xhq-TKU5vPpVP5pTcgcQJKIdEE/s1600/Merry+Wives+61+IMG_3815.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIC0lrOpfAq-_58hN6FED5m80apZ5lXYG5z9OCkoJ2b-DCgooy5lXnxBjeAZP8iBw5UFt_0doBVhTGVJxwGMmC0-fyyCKWvP8sThsPwRyKgFo7RUauc5Xhq-TKU5vPpVP5pTcgcQJKIdEE/s320/Merry+Wives+61+IMG_3815.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5632108770670503250" style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px; " /></a><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>So I've spent the last couple of weeks making people laugh while I wander round the stage looking like a barge in full sail. I try to wear something more flattering to change into when I see my friends after the performance, but even that is a tough call at the moment, given the general flabbiness. My face (always the first place to show weight) is moon-like, and this is not helped by the Elizabethan requirement for hair-under-hat for married women; having a small head on a large body is even more unflattering.</div><div><br /></div><div>All this puts me in the worst possible place. It should drive and motivate me to improvement, but right now I am so tired and defeated, and worn out by the effort of continually playing (a) the clown as my part requires, and (b) the strong woman as my life requires, that I can't find the strength.</div><div><br /></div><div>Once the show comes down tomorrow, I have a few days to catch up; then a week with beloved friends visiting us; then a week's blessed break in a little self-catering place in Normandy. Finally, time to stop and think. And focus on myself once more.</div><div><br /></div><div>I hope that, after that, I can respond to Thirkellgirl's kind enquiry "How's it going?" with "Brilliant, thank you".</div>Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-45077532688024098872010-10-11T21:56:00.003+01:002010-10-11T21:58:30.246+01:00Still on trackI've been managing one pound each week so far.<div><br /></div><div>Weighed myself this morning: still on track. Six weeks, six pounds exactly.</div><div><br /></div><div>Not on a diet. Mindful eating.</div><div><br /></div><div>Start: 171 lb.</div><div>Today: 165 lb.</div><div><br /></div><div>Delighted.</div>Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-36174816013723312552010-10-09T15:11:00.003+01:002010-10-09T15:27:06.054+01:00Two books, one very useful chapAnother strand of notable help I've received during the last few weeks.<div><br /></div><div>In browsing around for more help on plantar fasciitis, I came across this book:</div><br /><iframe src="http://rcm-uk.amazon.co.uk/e/cm?t=wensumgroupof-21&o=2&p=8&l=as1&asins=1598585517&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe><br /><div><br /></div><div>As the reviews point out, the book is quite small in content for something relatively expensive. However, in terms of the simplicity of explanation and scientific backup, it's well worth it. I like Jim Johnson's style: treats you as an intelligent individual, while at the same time assuming you have minimum knowledge about the subject.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've been doing the prescribed stretches for the last few weeks. While it certainly hasn't cured it, there is no doubt but that it helps considerably with the pain I usually have first thing in the morning, and who knows? - if I continue, it may in the long run ease matters.</div><div><br /></div><div>I looked further into the books written by this chap. I found this:</div><div><br /></div><iframe src="http://rcm-uk.amazon.co.uk/e/cm?t=wensumgroupof-21&o=2&p=8&l=as1&asins=0897934490&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe><br /><div><br /></div><div>Another pretty diddy little book (although less expensive); but it says all that needs to be said. Concise, intelligent, practical and sensible. There's little here I didn't know in some form already, but seeing it so clearly and rationally expressed is reassuring and encouraging. Put simply, it strips away all the nonsense put about by most 'diets' to the very simple matter: calories in and calories out, via controlled eating, sensible nutrition and achievable exercise, are the only possible routes to weight-loss. We might not like the fact that there is no magic wand, but that's the way it is.</div><div><br /></div><div>Using some of the wise advice in both these little books, coupled with my sessions with Jason and the other related matters in my last post, there is no reason at all why I can't return my weight and shape to the way I would like it to be.</div>Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-86950539587163767032010-10-07T19:23:00.000+01:002010-10-07T19:24:00.550+01:00The results so far<div>And what difference has all this made?</div><div><div><br /></div><div>30th August: weight 171 lb (12-3). BP 137/106. 42"-37"-44"*</div><div>6th October: weight 166 lb (11-12). BP 117/88. 42"-36.5"-43"*</div><div><br /></div><div>* (bust-waist-hips)</div><div><br /></div><div>Five pounds down. One pound each week. Feeling better. Quiet. Managing. Not panicking.</div><div><br /></div><div>I still miss my running dreadfully. But this hasn't really, in the end, been about that. It's been about unpicking some truly ridiculous behaviours and self-image which have been with me for forty-seven years, and finally addressing them in a way that is appropriate, healthy and right for me. </div><div><br /></div><div>I always knew the value of NLP and cognitive behavioural therapy. But I haven't experienced it in such a specific and powerful way before. </div><div><br /></div><div>Thanks to Jason, Clare, my darling husband, Kim, and all the friends and fellow fitness enthusiasts that have continued to put up with me.</div><div><br /></div><div>Stay with me.</div></div>Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-10344920542093302802010-10-07T19:22:00.004+01:002010-10-07T19:36:56.627+01:00ExerciseI've been managing an average of two gym sessions each week, usually with Kim. However, I've also been walking, usually with my husband, round the village - we have four different routes. This usually happens about 3-4 times each week; each route is an average of 1.6 to 1.7 miles. Sometimes it's been grim weather, but occasionally we've been treated to some completely wonderful scenes around the Norfolk countryside, which lifts the spirits as well as the heartrate.<div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj93FD8iVHhZBzsJvXgogK20NY9v0Vo6ZzlV9ml93L5o2DeoxGJ9t_9ikjbPvMCoNs8fp8GFlJq5KyUpNr3IWhqZr-I0MgTw_NWfP0Bk_4Y-QuhPslAp6ylEQcW1W2-PisUube5O6wn05VO/s1600/P1020636a.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj93FD8iVHhZBzsJvXgogK20NY9v0Vo6ZzlV9ml93L5o2DeoxGJ9t_9ikjbPvMCoNs8fp8GFlJq5KyUpNr3IWhqZr-I0MgTw_NWfP0Bk_4Y-QuhPslAp6ylEQcW1W2-PisUube5O6wn05VO/s320/P1020636a.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5525374854782046834" style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px; " /></a><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>My foot still hurts. That's why I'm still not running. It's no more than mildly uncomfortable while I'm walking, but on my return it's generally unpleasant. But frankly, if it's going to hurt anyway (and it usually does), I might just as well get in whatever exercise I can.</div><div><br /></div><div>... <a href="http://rectorswiferevamp.blogspot.com/2010/10/results-so-far.html">next post</a> ...</div>Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-80611892294321889892010-10-07T19:00:00.000+01:002010-10-07T19:39:42.387+01:00Food<div>So how am I doing? Over the last five weeks:</div><div><div><ul><li>For several evenings in a row, my one glass of wine with my evening meal would be left half-drunk. My husband has now started pouring me a half-glass, and I'm quite happy with this. I can always have some more if I want it.</li><li>I'm eating much, much more slowly. Most of the time, eating at home, yes, I usually do clear my plate still; but it takes much longer. Sometimes I'll leave some and come back to it ten minutes later.</li><li>More than once in restaurants recently I have been faced with far more food than I want (or would have served myself) and have left the extra. [Just today, eating in a pub, I decided to treat myself to one of my favourites - an Eton Mess - and managed about three spoonfuls of the creamy concoction before I gave up and left it.]</li><li>I've attended three different social or networking events where cakes were provided, and I haven't had one. These aren't just ordinary cake, but extremely delicious looking home-baked cupcakes or chocolate brownies. Anyone who knows me will realise that this last, particularly, is enough to prompt the question "Are you quite alright?".</li></ul></div><div>... <a href="http://rectorswiferevamp.blogspot.com/2010/10/exercise.html">next post</a> ...</div></div>Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-65349630149021844172010-10-07T18:58:00.006+01:002010-10-07T19:42:39.941+01:00HypnotherapyJason mentioned on his website the technique of a 'virtual gastric band'. I knew instantly that this approach was <i>not </i>for me. I have real trouble coping with the idea of anybody having such an invasive surgical procedure except in cases of really desperate medical emergency; I would never countenance such a thing for somebody like myself, who is in no sense obese (although may psychologically feel that way at times). So to have hypnotherapy to make me think this procedure had been done ran counter to all my requirements for myself. What I wanted was a greater sense of strength and purpose for myself, my health, my lifestyle; a more realistic approach to who I am and who I could be.<div><br /></div><div>Much to my relief, Jason completely understood this, and was perfectly happy to work with my particular view of the universe. We have had three sessions; my final one in the series is booked for this coming Saturday.</div><div><br /></div><div>During this time, we've used a combination of hypnotherapy and NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) techniques to address some of the unwanted behaviours I've been struggling with for so long. The primary issues we've worked on have been</div><div><ul><li>my use of food to represent sharing, giving, community</li><li>my inability to leave food & drink when I don't want any more</li><li>my view of my own body</li></ul></div><div>The last one was particularly interesting. I realised, during one conversation, that my view of my physical body was precisely the same now - weighing around twelve stone - as it was when I was eighteen years old, weighing three stone less. Which is perfectly ridiculous. My self image was <i>identical thirty years ago</i> to what it is now: overweight-clown-make-'em-laugh-big-tits. I always wanted to be elegant, poised, glamorous. I wanted to be like Helen Mirren, and I felt more like Barbara Windsor.</div><div><br /></div><div>... <a href="http://rectorswiferevamp.blogspot.com/2010/10/food.html">next post</a> ...</div>Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-67572582289819781782010-10-07T18:30:00.006+01:002010-10-07T19:27:22.147+01:00I'm still hereI know it's been months since I wrote. That's because I had very little to report. Now; a little. But it is progress.<div><br /></div><div>In that last couple of updates, last spring, I was taking comfort from the support of various friends, and that helped a lot. However, I didn't get any further with getting my head back into the right place; nor my body.</div><div><br /></div><div>The steroid injection on my foot didn't have any lasting effect; maybe because (as I've read) the Plantar Fasciitis is more to do with damage than with inflammation, so it did no more good than an overdose of painkiller; maybe as a result of the onstage running around that I was doing in the farce I was acting in at the time (up and down stairs, across the stage, round the gallery - dear me. In heels. Not in trainers. Painful). Either way, we're now two years on from when it began, and I'm no better off than when it started.</div><div><br /></div><div>I much enjoyed a yoga session with the beautiful <a href="http://www.yoganorfolk.com/">Barbara Ives</a> - and was planning to attend one of her classes; I then sustained a really nasty strain to my calf during the aforementioned play, and the class didn't happen. The rehearsals took up loads of time. We went on holiday. And so on, and so on.</div><div><br /></div><div>We had a wonderful holiday in July/August, followed by a brief visit to some friends in the Midlands. Both wonderful experiences. However, the photographs of me on both occasions sent me back into the deepest state of panic.</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGIBDTQyVkVV2qnO_1TSpZZ3_AUB-Dqpsih3s-Xv3K9eFSzdJMIK5-wu07ngWnbY7g3owed3DqfS62CPon6s56kNe-Dfhf4KO51AGyKARSbkxxnkv7tS4hObgsCspJpuVcbItQwwd6MT4d/s1600/2010-08b.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGIBDTQyVkVV2qnO_1TSpZZ3_AUB-Dqpsih3s-Xv3K9eFSzdJMIK5-wu07ngWnbY7g3owed3DqfS62CPon6s56kNe-Dfhf4KO51AGyKARSbkxxnkv7tS4hObgsCspJpuVcbItQwwd6MT4d/s320/2010-08b.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5525363836820454546" style="cursor: pointer; width: 256px; height: 320px; " /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA94aRDyWwduUhvh12TdIlSJ340kv_5Sk2RIef2f5tGIRi_z2S1yiKpaEaRpI_xUXes7Sr3tqZUBMFEQiNZ49p4mBKDArzMYl4F0c3ucHecVZqyylRv_7nCN_WjqHgbi1blMvwdJoQAcq0/s1600/2010-08a.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA94aRDyWwduUhvh12TdIlSJ340kv_5Sk2RIef2f5tGIRi_z2S1yiKpaEaRpI_xUXes7Sr3tqZUBMFEQiNZ49p4mBKDArzMYl4F0c3ucHecVZqyylRv_7nCN_WjqHgbi1blMvwdJoQAcq0/s320/2010-08a.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5525363827213381186" style="cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 320px; " /></a><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>OK, sitting next to one of my slimmest friends in the first photo wasn't a bright move; and the really short haircut in the second one was a bad mistake. But it wasn't good. I could have done without that many 'before' photos in one hit.</div><div><br /></div><div>I returned from holiday at my heaviest ever: 12 stone 3. That's 171 lb. As is usually the case, took a few sessions back at the gym; panicked; tried cutting the food down; panicked some more.</div><div><br /></div><div>***</div><div><br /></div><div>I read a posting on FaceBook from a friend and local business colleague, Claire Bunton (who specialises in the appearance: she is an <a href="http://www.clairebunton.co.uk/">image consultant</a>). Claire mentioned her recent very positive work on weight loss with a hypnotherapist: <a href="http://www.jasonedwardshypnotherapy.co.uk/">Jason Edwards</a>. I read his website, including all the commentary about NLP techniques (which I've done some training in myself in the past). I was intrigued.</div><div><br /></div><div>We had been lucky enough to have a small financial windfall over the summer (which paid for new glasses for my husband, among other things) and said husband was happy for me to invest a little more of it in this possibility. So off I went.</div><div><br /></div><div>... <a href="http://rectorswiferevamp.blogspot.com/2010/10/hypnotherapy.html">next post</a> ...</div>Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-28087158331493551722010-05-01T17:34:00.003+01:002010-05-01T18:03:06.643+01:00Lots to think aboutThat last post was written in a fit of the serious poor-mes. I was hugely touched and encouraged by the beautiful responses I had, on this blog, on Facebook and by email, from several people - both dear friends and complete strangers - and it gave me lots of food for thought.<div><br /></div><div>The important conclusion to come out of this is <i>not </i>about whether or not I need to lose a little weight. I know that I do. At twelve stone, I'm mercifully not obese, but I am definitely overweight - from a medical, healthy point of view, it's too much weight for a woman of 5'5". I'm carrying around some twenty pounds' excess strain on the heart, the back and all other bits of my anatomy. My blood pressure isn't yet dangerously high, but it's high enough for the nurse to call me back for an extra check and to caution me that she's not happy with it.</div><div><br /></div><div>The actual numbers in my clothes sizes aren't that meaningful (let's face it, when I'm a size 14 in M&S, I'm a 12 in East and an Extra Large in Zara); but when I'm on the 12-14 racks, the whole bod feels better able to carry out its daily routine efficiently. And efficiency has always been important to me.</div><div><br /></div><div>When, back in the summer of 2007, I had settled at roughly 10 stone 7, I was <i>genuinely</i> happy with my body, probably for the first time in my life - especially as it had been achieved by very little "dieting" and a lot of exercise, so was actually in far better shape than when I'd been even lighter in the past.</div><div><br /></div><div>The trouble is that I was so thrilled to be <i>bien dans ma peau</i>, as the French so eloquently put it, that in my mind it meant that a very specific equation was formed: namely, ten-stone-seven = the right weight for me = attractive. Logically, therefore, twelve-stone = too heavy for me = unattractive. </div><div><br /></div><div>The fear of getting dressed in the morning (faced with a wardrobe that is 75% useless) means that I might do two hours' work at the desk in my towelling robe before getting as far as the shower, unable to face the body and the wardrobe. I am likely to have a panic attack when "getting dressed up" because I'm limited to the two pairs of black trousers and one pair of jeans that I can wear with any comfort. And because my eighteen months in "the right place" was so happy, I had worked on the basis that I'd no longer need the 14-to-16 range... ach, we've all been there.</div><div><br /></div><div>So where does this get me now? Trying, very hard, to think clearly. It <i>is </i>possible for me to be attractive at my present weight and size; it's just a different kind of sexy. It's not a place I especially want to stay, purely for reasons of health, but it will do, and is <i>not </i>by definition a place of ugliness. Wow - there's a concept.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I've been to the gym twice this week, used the exercise bike three times, and been trying to eat sensibly. I'll have my steroid injection on Thursday, and see where it gets me. And I'll believe my lovely husband, and my dear friends, and those complete strangers who care enough to take time to send me good thoughts and best wishes. My thanks and love to them all.</div><div><br /></div><div>***</div><div><br /></div><div>I was supposed to be running the Norwich Race for Life today. My foot has been so bad that I can barely walk on it at the moment, much less run. What did I do instead? I went to see my lovely friend Kayla for a long-overdue waxing session (ouch) and back massage & facial (wonderful). A bit ironic, really, but I suppose I can live with that.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the meantime, I am so proud of those friends of mine who have run or will run this race in aid of cancer research: <a href="http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/kingaelliott1">Kinga</a>, <a href="http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/tracyandfreyahazell">Tracy</a>, <a href="http://www.justgiving.com/barntherapy">Linda</a> and my lovely friend <a href="http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/kimharrington">Kim</a>. I hope to be back with you next year.</div>Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-51678241175163350482010-04-25T19:59:00.002+01:002010-04-25T20:09:14.303+01:00Not goodI thought a bit of determination was going to help. I really did enjoy that Sports Mile. But (who knows why: wrong shoes? not enough training?) the heel took a turn for the worse afterwards. For the last month, instead of just being uncomfortable first thing and after a long walk or running attempt, it's hardly stopped hurting at all, with the result that I feel crocked and old.<div><br /></div><div>I have done a few gym sessions, a few walk-runs; and then I went out with Kim and another friend of hers, Jan, for a walk-run. Lovely route, mostly on soft but even forest floor; lots of pauses to stretch; probably about 25% walking, rest running, but certainly not fast. I spent most of the session in some pain; by the time I drove home, I was literally in tears: both from the frustration of being unable to enjoy such a beautiful evening and an activity I loved, and from the pain of it.</div><div><br /></div><div>That was a week ago, and I think I've got to admit that the Race for Life is just not going to happen. Running through pain, putting up with muscle aches, all that's fine; but this is more than that, and a really intense pain that isn't going away.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've finally been to the doctor and booked to have a steroid injection on 6th May. I'm not looking forward to it; I've been warned that it will hurt, and that it may not even work; but I don't know what else to do.</div><div><br /></div><div>To add insult to injury, this morning I weighed in at 12 stone exactly - the heaviest I've ever been in my life, and one pound above my <i>starting </i>weight back in 2007. I have three pairs of trousers that fit me; 75% of my wardrobe (at least) is unusable. I am fighting hard, the whole time, not to disappear into a black depression, because it's affecting every part of my life, and I am not a good person to be with right now.</div><div><br /></div><div>I hope the injection works. Otherwise I just don't know what to do. And of course, as that physical feel-good factor is no longer possible, what's the replacement? Food, of course.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am deeply ashamed and sorry for the lack of inspiration, as I was so proud of what I achieved, but right now I feel worthless and deeply unattractive. I just hope I find a way out of it.</div>Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-57073757617284528042010-03-21T19:25:00.006+00:002010-03-22T08:34:37.626+00:00Chuffed to bits<a href="http://www.mysportrelief.com/norfolkbroad">Sport Mile</a> this morning with Kim. First problem was that I had to use my old trainers - as the usual ones were in my gym kit, which I'd left in the car last night, and the car had gone off with my husband when he left to do the Sunday services!!<div><br /></div><div>A glorious spring day, perfect conditions. Lots of folk there, so very slow at times, but a lovely atmosphere. I used my <a href="http://runkeeper.com/">Runkeeper</a> software on the iPhone (as the sensor for the Nike+ was on on the trainers in the car...) and was at first disappointed that the "mile" seemed to be only 0.77 of a mile. However, on arrival home I checked, and by comparing it with the official map, it was clear that the satnav signal had been lost from time to time, resulting in corner-cutting of the route - that is, the iPhone cutting corners, not me! So it turned out to be 0.98 miles in 10:35, which given how little training I've done recently was not half bad. And although some bits were very slow, this was mostly because of the large crowds - good to know I could have gone a little faster! (said the whiting to the snail...)</div><div><br />The really annoying part was that the only thing stopping me continuing to do at least one further mile-lap was the heel. While the leg muscles ached a bit, I could happily have run further, if it weren't that the plantar fasciitis in the heel was quite sharp by the end of that mile, and painful for the rest of the day. So I'm definitely going to contact the doctor for information about a cortisone injection to see if that helps. I so want to have a really good run, and to be able to do a proper job in the <a href="http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/norfolkbroad">Race for Life</a>; and today's run reminded me just how much I had enjoyed it.</div><div><br />The girls are back in town.</div><div><br /></div><div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS7hi3vJoa8Msc9qvO4eMmJxy5Z-H71kXGOrFkZ8gklwGko_9qPR0U_fjHXh9pyT476Qj0xJ5BQBnVUzWD0sWVEnXiWl55EtfDtipQ-eCvc7yFU5ph5CXwgRxrdYDZUYsg_7rWJnzPBisf/s1600-h/Kim.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS7hi3vJoa8Msc9qvO4eMmJxy5Z-H71kXGOrFkZ8gklwGko_9qPR0U_fjHXh9pyT476Qj0xJ5BQBnVUzWD0sWVEnXiWl55EtfDtipQ-eCvc7yFU5ph5CXwgRxrdYDZUYsg_7rWJnzPBisf/s200/Kim.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451173627512493474" style="cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px; " /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCEoV4ewnO_8afTesloy3HkVbF9NOG8kS5pAZfNIoTO1VyrX7GDn4_UVWDgLTfX6CPDd8OFhZTb1-_YMs023H-KPao4Yh9xFv8z4lj5J25TFUQsPB0STbyAE1Mu4hvP_FVOMb3aMPbAYG_/s1600-h/Cassie.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCEoV4ewnO_8afTesloy3HkVbF9NOG8kS5pAZfNIoTO1VyrX7GDn4_UVWDgLTfX6CPDd8OFhZTb1-_YMs023H-KPao4Yh9xFv8z4lj5J25TFUQsPB0STbyAE1Mu4hvP_FVOMb3aMPbAYG_/s200/Cassie.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451173617915515426" style="cursor: pointer; width: 152px; height: 200px; " /></a></div>Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3683074117080152833.post-32807565964103353922010-03-20T19:24:00.002+00:002010-03-20T19:26:09.949+00:00A mile tomorrowFoot better today (but still sore; will go see doctor, running shop etc. next week). However, will run the Sport Relief mile tomorrow morning.<div><br /></div><div>If anybody fancies sponsoring me in this, my first run for 18 months, <a href="http://www.mysportrelief.com/norfolkbroad">please click here</a>. Sport Relief deserves it.</div>Cassiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07531093715654362821noreply@blogger.com0