Not good

I thought a bit of determination was going to help. I really did enjoy that Sports Mile. But (who knows why: wrong shoes? not enough training?) the heel took a turn for the worse afterwards. For the last month, instead of just being uncomfortable first thing and after a long walk or running attempt, it's hardly stopped hurting at all, with the result that I feel crocked and old.

I have done a few gym sessions, a few walk-runs; and then I went out with Kim and another friend of hers, Jan, for a walk-run. Lovely route, mostly on soft but even forest floor; lots of pauses to stretch; probably about 25% walking, rest running, but certainly not fast. I spent most of the session in some pain; by the time I drove home, I was literally in tears: both from the frustration of being unable to enjoy such a beautiful evening and an activity I loved, and from the pain of it.

That was a week ago, and I think I've got to admit that the Race for Life is just not going to happen. Running through pain, putting up with muscle aches, all that's fine; but this is more than that, and a really intense pain that isn't going away.

I've finally been to the doctor and booked to have a steroid injection on 6th May. I'm not looking forward to it; I've been warned that it will hurt, and that it may not even work; but I don't know what else to do.

To add insult to injury, this morning I weighed in at 12 stone exactly - the heaviest I've ever been in my life, and one pound above my starting weight back in 2007. I have three pairs of trousers that fit me; 75% of my wardrobe (at least) is unusable. I am fighting hard, the whole time, not to disappear into a black depression, because it's affecting every part of my life, and I am not a good person to be with right now.

I hope the injection works. Otherwise I just don't know what to do. And of course, as that physical feel-good factor is no longer possible, what's the replacement? Food, of course.

I am deeply ashamed and sorry for the lack of inspiration, as I was so proud of what I achieved, but right now I feel worthless and deeply unattractive. I just hope I find a way out of it.

Chuffed to bits

Sport Mile this morning with Kim. First problem was that I had to use my old trainers - as the usual ones were in my gym kit, which I'd left in the car last night, and the car had gone off with my husband when he left to do the Sunday services!!

A glorious spring day, perfect conditions. Lots of folk there, so very slow at times, but a lovely atmosphere. I used my Runkeeper software on the iPhone (as the sensor for the Nike+ was on on the trainers in the car...) and was at first disappointed that the "mile" seemed to be only 0.77 of a mile. However, on arrival home I checked, and by comparing it with the official map, it was clear that the satnav signal had been lost from time to time, resulting in corner-cutting of the route - that is, the iPhone cutting corners, not me! So it turned out to be 0.98 miles in 10:35, which given how little training I've done recently was not half bad. And although some bits were very slow, this was mostly because of the large crowds - good to know I could have gone a little faster! (said the whiting to the snail...)

The really annoying part was that the only thing stopping me continuing to do at least one further mile-lap was the heel. While the leg muscles ached a bit, I could happily have run further, if it weren't that the plantar fasciitis in the heel was quite sharp by the end of that mile, and painful for the rest of the day. So I'm definitely going to contact the doctor for information about a cortisone injection to see if that helps. I so want to have a really good run, and to be able to do a proper job in the Race for Life; and today's run reminded me just how much I had enjoyed it.

The girls are back in town.

A mile tomorrow

Foot better today (but still sore; will go see doctor, running shop etc. next week). However, will run the Sport Relief mile tomorrow morning.

If anybody fancies sponsoring me in this, my first run for 18 months, please click here. Sport Relief deserves it.

Triumph & tribulation

Last night, Kim & I went for a warmup at the gym, then along our favoured route between the Longwater and Bowthorpe roundabouts (exactly 1.5 miles each way). We successfully managed to run the first leg, and were very pleased. However, my heel was really sore by the end of it, so we walked back again.

Not a bad result: a pace of just under 12 minutes in the running (17'57" for the 1.5 miles), and obviously much slower (28'31") for the walk back. But I'm now concerned at just how sore the heel is feeling. I thought the plantar fasciitis had begun to leave me alone - and after 18 months, it would be about time - but this morning I can barely walk on it, despite painkillers & ice last night. I am still not at all sure whether the orthotics are causing more problems than they are solving; do I need new trainers; should I give in and have a steroid jab...

Will do my best with the Sport Relief Mile - it's only a mile, for heaven's sake! - on Sunday; but am trying very hard not to be depressed right now. No fair.

The first running mile for months

... or nearly a mile, anyway. 0.92 of a mile, from my front door to our first pausing point.

Kim & I went out for a run-walk this morning. Lovely spring day, snowdrops all over the place, sun came out towards the end. Down the usual route to Morton, a brief pause to admire the snowdrops, then on down to the exit from the far end of the estate. Back again, through the woods and home again.

That first leg was all running - and for the most part, according to the Nike+, at a pace that wasn't too far over a ten minute mile and occasionally a bit faster. We then ran and walked alternate bits all the way back to the Rectory, giving us a total mileage (slightly under the Nike+ calculation of 2.86) of 2.72 miles in 34'16". Given that we'd done several stretches of walking, the average pace of just over 12:30 wasn't too bad.

Kim always did bully me out of the frame of mind that said I can't do this. Thankfully. Love her for it.

Now I know that I'll be able to run a mile on Sunday week!

Back to the gym

I haven't had a gym workout since before the play - so about a month. During the "worst of times" - the last 18 months when my running has gone to pot because of injury - I've at least managed to keep visiting the gym; spasmodically, but on average weekly. Once the running is back up to speed - as it were - I'm happiest when I can run 2 or 3 times each week, and get to the gym for machine and weight work just once.

Tonight, with Kim, it was around 45 minutes ' cv on the bike, cross-trainer and stepper, plus about 20 minutes on weights machines. Flexibility of legs awful at the moment, and legs generally very tired (probably because all this week's exercise has been working them), but not a bad session overall.

But I'll be glad when I can look in those ruddy mirrors again without a shudder.

Just a walk

... but as I went to the postbox first (so an extra 0.4 miles in the opposite direction and back), it was at least 2.23 miles and 36 minutes "in oxygen", as they say.

Cold, grey day. Beautiful snowdrops in the woods at Morton.