I've been managing one pound each week so far.
Monday, 11 October 2010
Saturday, 9 October 2010
Another strand of notable help I've received during the last few weeks.
Thursday, 7 October 2010
I've been managing an average of two gym sessions each week, usually with Kim. However, I've also been walking, usually with my husband, round the village - we have four different routes. This usually happens about 3-4 times each week; each route is an average of 1.6 to 1.7 miles. Sometimes it's been grim weather, but occasionally we've been treated to some completely wonderful scenes around the Norfolk countryside, which lifts the spirits as well as the heartrate.
- For several evenings in a row, my one glass of wine with my evening meal would be left half-drunk. My husband has now started pouring me a half-glass, and I'm quite happy with this. I can always have some more if I want it.
- I'm eating much, much more slowly. Most of the time, eating at home, yes, I usually do clear my plate still; but it takes much longer. Sometimes I'll leave some and come back to it ten minutes later.
- More than once in restaurants recently I have been faced with far more food than I want (or would have served myself) and have left the extra. [Just today, eating in a pub, I decided to treat myself to one of my favourites - an Eton Mess - and managed about three spoonfuls of the creamy concoction before I gave up and left it.]
- I've attended three different social or networking events where cakes were provided, and I haven't had one. These aren't just ordinary cake, but extremely delicious looking home-baked cupcakes or chocolate brownies. Anyone who knows me will realise that this last, particularly, is enough to prompt the question "Are you quite alright?".
Jason mentioned on his website the technique of a 'virtual gastric band'. I knew instantly that this approach was not for me. I have real trouble coping with the idea of anybody having such an invasive surgical procedure except in cases of really desperate medical emergency; I would never countenance such a thing for somebody like myself, who is in no sense obese (although may psychologically feel that way at times). So to have hypnotherapy to make me think this procedure had been done ran counter to all my requirements for myself. What I wanted was a greater sense of strength and purpose for myself, my health, my lifestyle; a more realistic approach to who I am and who I could be.
- my use of food to represent sharing, giving, community
- my inability to leave food & drink when I don't want any more
- my view of my own body
I know it's been months since I wrote. That's because I had very little to report. Now; a little. But it is progress.
Saturday, 1 May 2010
That last post was written in a fit of the serious poor-mes. I was hugely touched and encouraged by the beautiful responses I had, on this blog, on Facebook and by email, from several people - both dear friends and complete strangers - and it gave me lots of food for thought.
Sunday, 25 April 2010
I thought a bit of determination was going to help. I really did enjoy that Sports Mile. But (who knows why: wrong shoes? not enough training?) the heel took a turn for the worse afterwards. For the last month, instead of just being uncomfortable first thing and after a long walk or running attempt, it's hardly stopped hurting at all, with the result that I feel crocked and old.
Sunday, 21 March 2010
Sport Mile this morning with Kim. First problem was that I had to use my old trainers - as the usual ones were in my gym kit, which I'd left in the car last night, and the car had gone off with my husband when he left to do the Sunday services!!
The really annoying part was that the only thing stopping me continuing to do at least one further mile-lap was the heel. While the leg muscles ached a bit, I could happily have run further, if it weren't that the plantar fasciitis in the heel was quite sharp by the end of that mile, and painful for the rest of the day. So I'm definitely going to contact the doctor for information about a cortisone injection to see if that helps. I so want to have a really good run, and to be able to do a proper job in the Race for Life; and today's run reminded me just how much I had enjoyed it.
The girls are back in town.
Saturday, 20 March 2010
Foot better today (but still sore; will go see doctor, running shop etc. next week). However, will run the Sport Relief mile tomorrow morning.
Friday, 19 March 2010
Last night, Kim & I went for a warmup at the gym, then along our favoured route between the Longwater and Bowthorpe roundabouts (exactly 1.5 miles each way). We successfully managed to run the first leg, and were very pleased. However, my heel was really sore by the end of it, so we walked back again.
Saturday, 13 March 2010
... or nearly a mile, anyway. 0.92 of a mile, from my front door to our first pausing point.
Thursday, 11 March 2010
I haven't had a gym workout since before the play - so about a month. During the "worst of times" - the last 18 months when my running has gone to pot because of injury - I've at least managed to keep visiting the gym; spasmodically, but on average weekly. Once the running is back up to speed - as it were - I'm happiest when I can run 2 or 3 times each week, and get to the gym for machine and weight work just once.
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
Monday, 8 March 2010
Telling myself that I'd just walk my usual 1.75 miles, but as fast as possible, I put on the sports bra under the warm clothes (just in case) and off I went. Very late in the day (nearly 6pm) - I should've gone out two hours earlier - but just made it in the light.
Saturday, 13 February 2010
Having managed three gym sessions during this last week - one very brief (only 30 mins, but hey, it's better than nothing) before a rehearsal, and two decent-length workouts with Kim (about 50 mins + stretches in each case), the two of us got out for a run-walk today, together, for the first time in forever.
Genuine reason for only running (and that very slowly) part of the route was that all the recent snow / sleet / hail have left the roads, in places, treacherous, and turning ankle during get-back-to-running time didn't seem wise; but coming up through the woods at Morton Hall, rather than up the drive, the sheltered and leaf-covered paths were actually much easier to run on - no ice! Yes, tough going and wobbly legs; yes, we probably only ran about three-quarters of a mile out of the total of just under 2 miles; but good. Very good. No idea how long it took; was more interested in getting it done than timing it. Having bought a new sensor for the Nike+ kit I'll start monitoring it again soon.
I made our entries for the 2010 Race for Life this week, and was rather deflated when looking for a running photo of myself for the sponsorship page: depressing to see how different I look now. However, I've done it before so I can do it again.
NB: left heel (plantar fasciitis) hurts like the devil right now, but it didn't while we were running. That job went to the under-used thighs and calves.
Hang on in there with me.
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
I had a real hissy fit the other day.
As you can see, if you're really interested, from earlier entries, my fitness journey went in waves. Having spent around 44 years messing around with dieting but little exercise, in January 2007 I finally cracked it, and got a PT; six weeks later, I started running; and for eighteen months, life was good. A couple of minor injuries were overcome, I always got back in the swing of things, and the lost 20lb or so stayed off.
Plantar fasciitis kicked in during the autumn of 2008, and wrecked everything. And yes, I guess I let it. But it hurt. Lots. And that feeling of freedom, of running without ouch-ouch-ouch, which I found just occasionally, was lost. And I panicked. And the weight went back on. And so on, and so on.
Let's be fair to self: the weight didn't quite all go back on - it was all bar about 4lb. Given that in any previous existence I'd have leapfrogged over my previous heaviest weight, I guess I can put this down to the fact that I've at least managed one gym session per week, on average, during that fifteen months or so since I was running regularly. I've managed to stay within a size 14, rather than giving in to the sixteens again - but oh, the twelves were so much better.
So the hissy fit? Well, I'm in a play right now - rehearsing for a production of Come Back to the 5 & Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean at the Sewell Barn Theatre in Norwich, last two weeks in February. My character is Sissy - who, if you've ever seen the 1970s film, was the part played by Cher. I don't have her waistline, hair, eyes or money, but I sure as hell have the tits - and always will do, no matter what my weight.
Well, we had publicity photos taken the other night. I need a wig (my own hair is much too short for the period) and the only one they could source for the occasion looked awful - more width on my face I really do not need. And when I saw myself next to the actresses playing Mona (dainty, petite) and the younger versions of Mona & Sissy (gorgeous teenagers) on the screen on the back of the digital camera, my heart sank. Elephantine was not the word. Well, it was, actually.
I got home, and found an comment awaiting moderation: from the lovely gymbunny21, asking ever so nicely where my updates were, and saying how much she'd enjoyed this blog in the past. She's lost two stone - good on you, girl. She's just started her blog, and is newly motivated. Had I kept my weight off, was I still running?
Well, I just sat down and howled. I'd been ignoring the blog, ignoring the scales, and trying not to remember how good it used to make me feel, because I felt so ashamed. And here was a complete stranger caring what had happened to me.
So here we are again. I tried to run back in April last year - and gave up after a couple of tries; and again in August - ditto. Now the Race for Life 5K beckons once more. The heel might hurt still, but when I said to my darling friend and erstwhile PT, Kim, "I can walk for about half an hour before it starts to hurt" she wisely pointed out that if I could walk, then I could run for that time, too. The resting hasn't helped it, as far as I can tell, so I may as well put up with the discomfort.
And if I can get back to one or two runs plus one or two gym sessions per week, I know that those twenty pounds will be behind me. (No, I don't mean on my arse.)
I have just turned 47. I don't want to get any nearer fifty with the same image problems as I've had virtually all my life. So... here we go again.
I have just got back from a walk-run. My old, favourite route, down to Morton Hall: 1.75 miles round trip, flat-ish (this is Norfolk, after all) but a few undulating bits that make it slightly harder work on the way back. 200 steps walking and 200 running on the way there; the same on the way back but alternating every 100 steps. CV: not too bad. Leg muscles: despite gym sessions, clearly wondering what the heck I'm up to. Heel: not actually painful, but clearly something is still out of kilter. Not sure how much of that is psychological. Don't know how long it took me, I forgot to time it, but I think it was around about 22 minutes - so at least a bit faster than a straight walk would have been.
Weight: 11 stone 10 lb. Weeks till RfL: just over 15.
Thank you, Kim. Thank you, husband. And thank you, gymbunny, for the kick up the substantial arse that I needed.